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- [later at Heavy's house]
- Heavy: Oh, me back. Well, here goes another useless attempt to sleep on me mount less, lumpy mattress. [lays on his mattress] Huh, that's queer. My mattress seems strangely cozy and butter-like... [falls asleep]
- Scout, Demoman & Medic: Surprise!
- 'Heavy': Armageddon! What? Oh, you? What in the blue eye scallop are you doing my bedroom?
- Scout: We noticed how miserable you were on your lumpy, old mattress.
- Medic: So I suggested we get you a new one.
- Demoman: [talking to SpongeBob] I thought it was your idea.
- ''''Heavy': So, where's me old mattress then? [fury goes up]
- 'Medic': Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I took care of that personally, too. I had it hauled away to the dump.
- '''''''Heavy'''': [jumps on Medic] All my money was in that mattress.
- ''''Medic': What? Haven't you ever heard of a bank?
- ''''''''''Heavy'''''''''': No! [walks backward, hits his lamp and trashes some books]
- 'Scout': Heavy!
- '''''''''''''Heavy''''''''''''': No! [faints]
- 'Demoman': And we got you a card.
- ''''''''''''''''Heavy'''''''''''''''': [lifts one eye up off the floor] Is there money in it?
- 'Demoman': Nope. [Mr. Krabs faints again. Later, at the hospital]
- 'Scout': Is it serious, doctor? Will Mr. Krabs be alright?
- Spy: Heavy is in a cash-coma. Only the return of his money can save his life.
- 'Medic': It was Scout's fault. Getting Heavy a new mattress was his idea.
- 'Demoman': I knew it!
- Soldier: Not so fast! [holds up get well card] This card says "This was all my idea. Love, Medic." If Heavy doesn't pull through, you're going to jail.