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Meet the Soldier
Meet the Soldier TF2.png
Released August 22, 2007
Run time 1:27

We begin with a BLU pyro, BLU Heavy, and BLU Demoman, all being exploded with a rocket while taunting. It then cuts to the 'Meet the (Class here)' Intro. It focuses on the RED Soldier giving a speech to multiple helmets. RED Soldier talks about how Sun Tzu invented war, perfected it, and then it cuts to the RED Soldier in battle. He screams, shooting his shotgun and rocket launcher, and enters the battlefield, killing multiple BLU's. It then cuts back to RED Soldier's speech, explaining how Sun Tzu used fight money to buy animals, put those animals on a boat, and then "beat the crap out of every single one." Cutting back to the Battlefield, a RED Scout warns the RED Soldier of a Sentry ahead. RED Soldier Rocket jumps, destroying the Sentry and the BLU Engineer, and shoots the control point, killing a BLU Heavy and a BLU Pyro. Soldier then grabs his Shovel and kills an uncloaking BLU Spy. Cutting back, again, to RED Soldier's speech, he laughs, and then says that his story is why whenever lots of animals are together, it is called a Zoo. The camera finally focuses on the helmets he has been talking to, revealing they are all severed BLU heads wearing helmets. The BLU Medic's head falls off the fencepost it was attached to, and then cuts to the usual Team Fortress group photo, in which it zooms from the specific Mercenary's face.


[The BLU Pyro, Heavy and Demoman are hit with one of RED Soldier's rockets.]

["Meet the Soldier" Text appears.]

[RED Soldier walks across the screen, talking to an array of BLU helmets.]

Soldier: "If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!

[Soldier looks at the BLU helmets.]

Soldier: "Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little-" [Soldier pokes one of the helmets.] "-more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it! And then he perfected it, so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor!"

[Cut to a shaky scene of RED Soldier in battle on Granary. He shoots a BLU Demoman dead with his shotgun, dodging the pipe grenades the Demoman had fired. Soldier then grabs his rocket launcher, killing a BLU Medic with it, while a RED Sniper yells something. Soldier then enters the main battle area. A RED Scout and RED Demoman are hiding behind a wall for protection while the RED Soldier, Heavy and Sniper run onto the field. Multiple BLU's are on the battlefield as well, shooting at the RED's.]

[Cut back to Soldier giving his speech.]

Soldier: Then he used his fight money-" [He takes the two grenades off of his shoulder strap.] "-to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto a boat-" [He uses the grenades to show two animals walking somewhere.] "-and then he beat the crap out of every single one!" [He hits the two grenades together, indicating a fight.]

[Cutting back to the battle, the RED Scout warns Soldier of a Sentry ahead, and Soldier rocket jumps on top of the Sentry, destroying it and killing the BLU Engineer. Soldier runs along the pipe and jumps down onto the last control point, shooting a rocket as he does so. The rocket kills a BLU Pyro and Heavy, and Soldier grabs his shovel to kill an uncloaking Spy.]

[Cut back to Soldier and the helmets.]

Soldier: Heheheheh... And from that day forward, anytime a bunch of animals are together in one place, it's called a Zoo!"

[The camera angle changes to show the heads under the helmets, which are revealed to be the severed heads of the BLU's he was fighting earlier. The head of the BLU Medic falls off the fence they were placed upon.]

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays.]

[Soldier is leaning down to the fallen Medic head.]

Soldier: Unless its a farm!