Synopsis[]
Meet the Engineer | |
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Released | January 19, 2009 |
Run time | 1:26 |
Script[]
["Meet the Engineer" text appears]
[The Engineer is sitting on his toolbox in front of a blue truck, strumming his guitar. The track "More Gun" plays. Next to him is a kill counter displaying 209.]
Engineer: Hey look, buddy. I'm an engineer, that means I solve problems.
[A shot rings out and a bullet hole appears to the left of the Engineer's head.]
Engineer: Not problems like "What is beauty?", 'cause that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy.
[Another two bullet holes appear, on the other side of the Engineer's head.]
Engineer: I solve practical problems!
[The shot zooms out to show a Level 2 sentry shooting off screen while the Engineer takes a long drink from his beer.]
BLU Heavy: [Off screen] [He screams in pain as he gets shot down.]
[The kill counter ticks up from 209 to 210.]
Engineer: For instance, how am I gonna stop some big mean Mother-Hubbard from tearin' me a structurally superfluous new behind?
[As the Engineer talks, a BLU Sniper stalks him in the background in the hills. The Sniper tries to kill him, but he gets spotted by a Level 1 Sentry, which shoots him down.]
Engineer: The answer? Use a gun.
[A Level 2 Sentry shoots a BLU Scout down.]
Engineer: And if that don't work, use more gun.
[A Level 3 Sentry fires a salvo of rockets, blowing up a BLU mercenary. The Engineer looks to where it is headed, and he smiles sadistically.]
Unknown: [Off screen] MY ARM!
[A blown-off hand lands at the Engineer's feet, resembling that of the Sniper judging from the glove. We can finally see the kill counter again, which is now at 214.]
Engineer: Like this heavy-caliber tripod-mounted little-old-number designed by me.
[Engineer kicks the arm off screen as a Level 1 Sentry blows it apart.]
Engineer: Built, by me.
[The same Level 1 sentry shoots someone (Presumably a Soldier) off screen.]
Engineer: And you best hope...
[The Engineer's expression darkens, and he grimaces as he stares right at the camera.]
Engineer: [It's] Not pointed at you.
[The Engineer continues to play his guitar as the shot slowly zooms out, showing the massacre ensuing around the Engineer. An electric guitar begins to replace the melody of "More Gun".]
[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays.]
Video[]
Trivia[]
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