| Meet the Demoman | |
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| Released | October 9, 2007 |
| Run time | 1:45 |
Synopsis[]
We begin with the classic "Meet The (class name)" title card, after which it quickly cuts to the RED Demoman narrowly dodging an explosion on Gravel Pit. He then explains what makes him a good Demoman, and that if he was a bad one he wouldn't be discussing it. We then cut to a scene of RED Demoman charging into battle alongside his team, screaming "Let's do it!"
The video then cuts back to RED Demoman isolated in his room, stating "One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch... and KABLOOIE!"
The video then cuts back to the battle, showing RED Demoman bouncing a grenade off a wall, gibbing a BLU Pyro. It then cuts to a scene of Demoman chugging his scrumpy bottle. The RED Demoman then engages in a fight with a BLU Sentry Gun, ending in him destroying it, all while chugging more scrumpy.
Cut again to RED Demoman in his room, lamenting about him being a "black Scottish cyclops" and mentioning how they have "more feckin' sea monsters in the Loch Ness" than they have the likes of him. (The quoted part is censored in the video due to it revealing the location of the Loch Ness Monster whose location in the TF2 universe is highly classified information.)
The final scene shows RED Demoman setting up a sticky trap against the pursuing BLU team led by a Heavy. As the BLU team approaches the end of the tunnel, the Heavy notices the stickies and his expression turns to shock before the entirety of the pursuing BLU team gets gibbed by the Demoman exploding the trap.
The viewpoint cuts to what seems to be the point-of-view of one of the BLU mercenaries' decapitated heads, as RED Demoman stands over it maniacally laughing, and stating "Oh, they're gonna have to glue YOU back together... IN HELL!"
Script[]
["Meet the Demoman" text appears"]
[Opening fanfare of "Drunken Pipe Bomb" plays as the Demoman narrowly escapes a massive explosion while jumping from a drop-down corridor in Gravel Pit]
[Freeze frame]
Demoman: "What makes me a good Demoman?"
[Cut to Demoman, sitting in a room full of explosives]
Demoman: "If I were a bad Demoman, I wouldn't be sittin' here, discussin' it with you now would I?"
["Drunken Pipe Bomb" resumes playing]
[Demoman charges into battle along with Team RED while dodging a cascade of rockets]
Demoman: "Let's do it!"
Demoman: "Not one of ya's gonna' survive this."
[Cut back to the Demoman's room, music pauses.]
Demoman: "One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch... and KABLOOIE!"
[Cut back to battle, music resumes.]
[The Demoman bounces a grenade off a wall and Gibs a pursuing Pyro]
[Cut to scene of the Demoman chugging from his Bottle of scrumpy]
[A level 2 Sentry Gun upgrades to level 3]
[Cut to scene of the Demoman continuing to chug from his Bottle of scrumpy]
[Sentry Gun fires rockets at the Demoman]
[Cut to a close up of the Demoman's face, still chugging from his Bottle of scrumpy]
[The Demoman dodges the rockets as a nearby Scout is gunned down by the Sentry. The Demoman then fires two grenades, destroying the Sentry Gun]
[Cut back to Demoman's room, music stops.]
[The Demoman slams the now empty Bottle down on the table, breathing heavily]
[Camera blurs]
Demoman: "I got a manky eye. I'm a black, Scottish cyclops.
[The Demoman knocks a grenade off the table, arming it in the process (it begins to blink)]
Demoman: They've got more f-[censored] than they've got the likes of me."
[The Demoman starts to drink from the empty Bottle, then notices the camera and becomes lucid again]
Demoman: "So...."
[The ending segment of "Drunken Pipe Bomb" starts to play]
Demoman: "....T'all you fine dandies so proud, so cocksure!"
[The Demoman runs out to the final capture point in Gravelpit and is shocked to see a group of BLU team members charging towards him with smug expressions on their faces. A devious look comes over the Demoman's face and he runs away with BLU in hot pursuit]
Demoman: "Prancin' aboot with your heads full of eyeballs! Come and get me I say! [The Demoman finds a door frame and suddenly gets his idea. As the BLU team charges toward him, they are unaware of the stickybombs the Demoman placed.] I'll be waiting on ya with a whiff of the 'ol brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable....with an unhappy bloody end!"
[The BLU team arrives, but they see the Demoman calmly drinking from his bottle. The BLU Heavy then notices the sticky bombs around the door frame, and his expression changes from smugness to shock. The Demoman throws a mock salute and activates the sticky bombs, gibbing all his pursuers]
[The Demoman walks up to (presumably) a decapitated head, laughing merrily as body parts and blood rain down around him.]
Demoman: "Oh, they're going to have to glue you back together... IN HELL!"
[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, accompanied by bagpipes]
Video[]
Trivia[]
The line Demoman actually says "they've got more fecking sea monsters in the great Lochett Ness then they've got the likes of me." during the long censor.
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